Miss Manners: Appalled by Thrown Out Cake? Do Not Attend Infant Birthday Celebrations.

MISS MANNERS, PLEASE: I was present at a 1-year-birthday old’s party where the honoree was given a beautiful cake on his plate that had obviously been specially ordered. The visitors in attendance gasped and oohed as he gradually destroyed the cake as the parents gently brought his hands to it.

The majority of the audience members were giggling and recording the performance. Was my unease while seeing this due to the fact that I am a baby boomer who has been negatively impacted by my Depression-era parents? Is there a pattern here?

DEAR READER: Yes, it does, and it even has an insulting name: “smash cake.”

What probably began with a loving parent giving their infant its first taste of cake, with hilariously messy results, swiftly spread like wildfire. And now everyone believes that it is necessary.

It is not, and Miss Manners is here to inform you that, especially with inflation and a recession on the horizon, this made-up custom would have lost its (minuscule, if not nonexistent) charm. Right now, it provides other nations another cause to regret us.

MISS MANNERS, PLEASE: She gave me a clutch wallet she had purchased while on a recent international trip as a thank you after I helped her with an online application. I always enjoy helping others, and I don’t do it in the hopes of getting paid.

This handbag is by a well-known designer. It retails for close to $1,000, according to my research. My husband and I looked online for indications that it might be an imitation, but the wallet lacks all of the warning indicators we read about.

I would appreciate an imitation wallet, maybe worth $20, and I would utilize it as soon as possible. However, if it’s an original, I think it’s excessive and would much rather sell it. (I’d swap it out with a lookalike just in case she saw me using it at some point.)

Designer goods have absolutely no worth in my eyes, but I know this friend does. She is very status-conscious, whereas I am content to carry my $15 purse around. The way I utilize my daily items would make me sick to wear out a pricey wallet.

I would have loved a $20 gift card, but I’m worried about this one. Should I keep looking into the wallet’s worth or should I just continue using the same old wallet I’ve used for years?

DEAR READER: Do you really need that $20 credit?

You claimed that while on vacation, your acquaintance purchased the wallet. Perhaps she no longer wanted it and thought of it as a casual regift rather than a priceless gift?

Regardless, you now possess the pocketbook, and Miss Manners assures you that you are free to use it anyway you like. which appears to be constantly figuring out its worth and wishing it were $20.

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